Positive Times

After some long wondering, if you were joining our world. We took home pregnancy test. I was half asleep and went back to bed. I woke up to your Dad saying," WAKE UP!"

Lets going back couple weeks and start from there. I had went to you Aunt Amanda's house to watch all the kids for her, bc Uncle Dave had to go to Texas. One night I told your Dad I had not felt good, morning sickness, smells of food made me sick, motion sickness and all the fun signs that a women is having a baby. Your Dad got really quite and said, "are you pregnant?" Then it hit me, oh my gosh!! "I might be," I said in return.

I came home a week late being very careful and ensure that would do nothing to jeopardize you, I came home  to take a test or 3.

I half asleep waked into the bathroom took a test. Being half asleep I put the test in the sink and went back to bed. Next thing I hear is, "WAKE UP!!" I asked your Dad what was wrong. He told me, "that is was little crappy that I just left the test in the sink for me to find out!" "What are you talking about?" Your Dad with blank face said, "the POSITIVE test sitting in the sink!" As I jumped, no joke jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom say the whole way, "I really hope you are not joking!" I look into the sink and see two bright blue lines!

I come back into the bedroom holding the golden ticket say " Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!" I sent on the bed next to your Dad who had tears in eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and we kept looking at the two bright blue lines that we forever change our lives. We sat in complete minutes of silence. After while, I finally broke the silence and said I am going to run to the store and get another test.

I drove very fast to the store and drove back fast. I ran into the downstairs bathroom and took the test. I wrapped the test up and took it to your Dad. After couple of minutes he looked and I knew it was not the answer I wanted to hear.

The look of sadness is something I have seen twice. Once, when it was fight for his life and another was sitting in his chair, that morning. With tears building up like damn, I said its "negative isnt?" Your Dad did not have the heart to tell me, he put the test out to me and would not look at me for the fear of breaking down and crying. I took the test and seen 1 bright blue line.

A week later I took another test. It was your Dad's 39th birthday. I was praying to God every night please let their be life. I wanted to give him the best gift ever, you. I took the test in the morning a week later and once again 1 bright blue line. We went home for the weekend. At your Grandma Franklin's house your Dad open up gifts and sat and tried no to cry, knowing that I was not able to give him the best gift ever.

Another week past, took another test only once again to find 1 bright blue line.

Still to this day, we have no understand why we had 2 bright blue lines. We con't down the road of wondering, when will we seen those 2 bright blue lines again. Love always Mom