Test

It has been a test of faith and good will to know that someday you will be sitting here. It is a test of faith by God himself to even understand why we have not been given you. We are tested everyday waiting for you to come into our lives.

I was in Walmart with your Dad and we needed Swiffer Wet Jet cleaner -- we got the new kind with the smell of Gain. It smells nice. After getting your Dad's Oatmeal Cream Pies, we started enroute to the checkout lines. We had to walk by all the wonderful baby items for sale. It was test of my faith not to break down and cry.

I do not tempt myself or even allow myself to think negative thoughts. I simple smile and know that someday when the time is right, your Dad and I will live in the rows and rows of baby stuff. We simply cannot wait for that day.

It has slowly became the giant leap of faith and beyond test of knowing that someday you will be with us in those rows and rows of baby items.

You are already in our hearts and forever in thoughts.

We love you more then you will ever understand,

Love your Mom

Faith and God

Not a lot has happen since I have last wrote you. We are still looking for the day when you are coming to join our family. Today is April 3 2013. It has been a little over a year since we started down this road. Neither your father or I thought it would be this long. We thought you would have been here by now. After all the test and reassurance that we can both have babies. It is now perfect timing with God's help. I know that the vision I was given cannot be wrong when God is the on providing the answers.

Your father and I are not church going people but we do believe in God, we have him in our hearts and he lives in your souls. We have had a lot of ups and downs but with the faith in God and knowing he will provide it is the faith that moves us forward, to cont you on the journey to find you.

Your Dad (39)with Fattie Jane (10) 3.30.13

Myself (29) after cutting 10 in of my hair - 3.23.13

Positive Times

After some long wondering, if you were joining our world. We took home pregnancy test. I was half asleep and went back to bed. I woke up to your Dad saying," WAKE UP!"

Lets going back couple weeks and start from there. I had went to you Aunt Amanda's house to watch all the kids for her, bc Uncle Dave had to go to Texas. One night I told your Dad I had not felt good, morning sickness, smells of food made me sick, motion sickness and all the fun signs that a women is having a baby. Your Dad got really quite and said, "are you pregnant?" Then it hit me, oh my gosh!! "I might be," I said in return.

I came home a week late being very careful and ensure that would do nothing to jeopardize you, I came home  to take a test or 3.

I half asleep waked into the bathroom took a test. Being half asleep I put the test in the sink and went back to bed. Next thing I hear is, "WAKE UP!!" I asked your Dad what was wrong. He told me, "that is was little crappy that I just left the test in the sink for me to find out!" "What are you talking about?" Your Dad with blank face said, "the POSITIVE test sitting in the sink!" As I jumped, no joke jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom say the whole way, "I really hope you are not joking!" I look into the sink and see two bright blue lines!

I come back into the bedroom holding the golden ticket say " Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!" I sent on the bed next to your Dad who had tears in eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and we kept looking at the two bright blue lines that we forever change our lives. We sat in complete minutes of silence. After while, I finally broke the silence and said I am going to run to the store and get another test.

I drove very fast to the store and drove back fast. I ran into the downstairs bathroom and took the test. I wrapped the test up and took it to your Dad. After couple of minutes he looked and I knew it was not the answer I wanted to hear.

The look of sadness is something I have seen twice. Once, when it was fight for his life and another was sitting in his chair, that morning. With tears building up like damn, I said its "negative isnt?" Your Dad did not have the heart to tell me, he put the test out to me and would not look at me for the fear of breaking down and crying. I took the test and seen 1 bright blue line.

A week later I took another test. It was your Dad's 39th birthday. I was praying to God every night please let their be life. I wanted to give him the best gift ever, you. I took the test in the morning a week later and once again 1 bright blue line. We went home for the weekend. At your Grandma Franklin's house your Dad open up gifts and sat and tried no to cry, knowing that I was not able to give him the best gift ever.

Another week past, took another test only once again to find 1 bright blue line.

Still to this day, we have no understand why we had 2 bright blue lines. We con't down the road of wondering, when will we seen those 2 bright blue lines again. Love always Mom

Almost a month

Been almost a month since your Dad and I started this journey. We sat and talked many hours on our hopes and dreams. Eye color, if you will have hair or no hair, if you will  be long or short, 7lbs or 9lbs. We can't wait. Your dad is talking about how the weather is going to be the mid to high 70's all week! Yahoo!! Its only the mid March. Its Monday and your dad and I our spring break!! Making Jerk chicken for supper and mac and cheese.  Yum!!

Well time to go.

Love,
Mom

Your Dad

Your Dad, finally found out his birth info. Your Grandma Shirley ran across your dad's birth card today and was excited to let your dad and I know. She has no idea right now that were are on the journey to find you. We are excited to finally have all the info that we needed. Well here it is: 


Jeff Adam Heminger 

Born August 4th 1973 

5:44am Saturday

7lbs 12oz 

20 inches long

His doctor was - Dr Nelson 

I see all this and think wow your dad was tiny. I don't think you know this - right now. Your dad is 7'3". No joke, the doctor confirmed two weeks ago. Shoe size is 18 E, inseam of 36" Your dad has working out. He said he want to be strong to hold you. Its not like he needs to lose weight. He is for once in his life, right were he needs to be. Your dad is good looking guy. No tattoos, beside 3 small pen dots. The story on those 3 small dots are for another day. 

Today is Friday 2.24.2012 at 9:51pm and we are watching Gold Rush on Discovery Channel. We going to stay up late tonight to watch Bering Sea Gold. Normally your dad and I go to bed around 10pm. 

Good night,

Love,
Mom

Sick

Well, I am sick!! Today is Tuesday 2/21/2012 and your mom is sick. I have cold/flu and who knows what else. Still hoping that I feel better sometime soon! I have been sick for almost for a week. Waiting for your dad to come home and get me. Your dad wants to go Walmart, for what - I have no idea.

Not a lot is going on in the news, just bunch of sad stuff. Not a lot of positive news, which is sad for me.

I need to get my self around, your dad is going to be here soon.

Love
Mom

Oh today!!

Today is Thursday February 16, 2012 at 5:15pm. Oh today has been not so fun. Not a lot has happen. Just the same as the other day. Your dad and I have been talking about names for you. If you are girl we are 100% at Evelyn Jillian Rose - Evelyn - we love older names Jillian - for your Grandma Jill {your dad does not know about the 1st middle name} Rose - for your Great Grandma Rose on your dad side. Boy we started with Grayson and now we are unsure. We like Ian and Graham. I love more English sounding names, always have. I love Olie but your dad does not. Middle we have 100% came to like, Adam - after your dad's middle name and Lamar after my dad middle name.

Needless to say we are excited to find you. No luck on finding you, hoping to soon. I will stop and think, what you will look like, color of your eyes and what kind of hair you will have.

Well I need to pack and get somethings down, before we head to your Aunt Amanda's house. Right now she is living on Army base, Ft. Campbell in KY.

A journey of million miles, starts with one step.

Love,
Mom